There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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