How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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