were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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