I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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