So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
