It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
