if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I enjoy the company of your penis
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
