i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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