my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Randomize
