I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize