The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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