so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
