is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
