i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
