I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
