I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
