You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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