For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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