wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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