Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
