my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
