Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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