All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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