I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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