that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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