you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
