You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
