i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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