Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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