I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
