There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Randomize
