I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
