I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
