im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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