Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize