Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
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