and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
tell me about the fingering
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