he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I think people are normalizing furries
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
