I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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