I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
