ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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