So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
