How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
