She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
