She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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