any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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