@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
