we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
