No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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