just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize