im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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