just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
3pm strippers are depressing
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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