Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
