whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
