If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
