if i can run in heels then i can drive
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
