Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
