hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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