fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
