I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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