so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Randomize
