i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
